Britain’s Got Talent is back on our televisions. The competition to find the UK’s most talented act has begun and I know for sure that that act is not me. For one, I did not audition and the second, most important, reason is that I am talentless.
I have no hidden talents that would entertain people, none at all. I can juggle with no more than two pieces of fruit and even then, I drop them more often than I catch them. My sense of humour is dry and subjective, that is to say that I’m the only person that finds myself funny and anything that makes people laugh is unintentional. The same goes for my singing; what I think I sound like and what people actually have to endure could not be more different, particularly on the high notes, if I am to go by the number of blocked ears and pained winces.
Dancing? I get the Macarena wrong and I can’t find my hips. Gymnastics? I stopped being able to touch my toes at the age of five. Magic? The best I can do is find a person’s card, given that they show it to me first. What else is there… Rap? My name is Yasmine- what rhymes with Yasmine? Maybe acting? I am an extremely good liar and I can put on an excellent poker face, but I doubt that anyone would be entertained by watching me pretend to not have seen my friend’s book.
My tongue does not roll nor does it reach my nose. My eyebrows do not move along to music. My elbow does not make farting sounds. Oh! I am a talentless being! Fortunately, I am at least able to accept it. I am not okay with it but I do not delude myself. Watching all the talentless acts stand before the judges and make absolute fools out of themselves, makes me question their sanity. They don’t actually believe that they have talent, do they? It also makes me question their friends and families. Why didn’t they tell them that they had no talent? Aren’t family and friends supposed to safeguard their loved ones’ dignity, instead of tossing it around in a circle in front of a live audience and million of television viewers? Perhaps, they too have been caught up in the delusion.
I’ve always found myself a boring person and it has always been a deep desire of mine to be good at something, to excel at something other than studying, to have the ability to do something unusual that not many other people can do. Some say that everyone is talented in some way or another, so, maybe I just haven’t found my special thing yet. Should I just keep trying or will it find me on its own?
What about you there? If you are lucky enough to have found yours, what is your special talent?
Coming Up: An Olympic special- a post on my lack of sporting ability. :)