The anticlimactic end

After five weeks of GCSE exams, I would expect to feel more excited than I do at the moment. After 5 years of education in the same school, I would expect to feel something greater than what I do now. However, my own feelings are non co-operative and I even sense a hint of boredom approaching. Is it a case of delayed reactions or is finishing a key stage of your education not so important? After all, if all goes according to plan, I have plenty more years to go.

Perhaps, it is a completely opposite case of advanced reactions. I celebrated the end before it came? What with counting down to the finale with each completed exam, my final exam may have been just another step and although it was the final one, it did not get any more recognition than the first because my mind had got so used to taking steps. Had the exams been compacted into a single week, I think I would have felt more emotional at the end, relieved and excited, but because they were spread over weeks, all the feeling diffused in between. Maybe A-levels will feel like more of an accomplishment…

I can’t believe I am already going to do A-levels. It feels like only this morning I was practising for my weekly spelling tests, but in reality, it has been a long time since I’ve done one of those. It has been a long time since I’ve been in a playground. Teenagers do not go to the playground at break time. It has been a long time since I’ve lined up in a straight line, crossed my arms and placed a finger on my lips. Teenagers are not so docile. It has been a long time since I’ve used a pencil to write, carried a lunchbox, worn plimsolls, frozen when the whistle blew for the end of break or sat on the carpet. Those were the good ol’ days… Years go by so quickly and things change so fast. I can already feel the wrinkles hiding under my teenage skin, bidding their diminishing time.

I was talking to an elderly lady on the bus this morning and she was telling me about the importance of buying the right pair of shoes to maintain a good, healthy back. I found myself wondering if she felt like only that morning she had been practising for her weekly spelling tests. Trust me to get all reflective and go into deep thinking over something as trivial as finishing exams…

Exams are over! School is out! I am using exclamation marks to compensate for my lack of enthusiasm!

This will be one of the longest summer holidays I have ever had and to ward off feelings of boredom or unnecessary over thinking, I will read all the books that I had no time for during the school year. So, recommendations please!

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8 thoughts on “The anticlimactic end

  1. Best book I’ve read recently was “the Handmaid’s tale” by Margaret Atwood. Not very cheery though.
    Have just started “the blue book” by a l Kennedy. Interesting so far 🙂

    Enjoy your holidays!
    (if you find any good books, post a recommendation. I’m always on the lookout!)

  2. Well it cant be as bad as it sounds….i hope u have a nice long holiday surrounded by books…i would reccomend u to read Divergent by Veronica Roth and if u like that then u can read the second book….Insurgent…i hope u like them!
    Have a nice time reading….and also please write loads of posta cos i love ur posts…..:)
    Xxx

  3. Funny enough I feel like that right now after just finishing my ALevels, although I think it did feel like more of a milestone at GCSE. I think sometimes you get so fed up with the repetative nature of the whole thing, you just can’t even summon the energy to be glad it’s over. It’s just done. I hope you enjoy your long summer though, it’s the best! This is a really great piece of writing by the way. 🙂

    As for book recommendations…hmmm (if you havn’t read them) Elsewhere by Gabrielle Zevin, Noughts and Crosses by Malorie Blackman, The Magician’s Guild by Trudi Canavan, Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte, and anything by Kelley Armstrong. Let me know what you think if you read any of them.

  4. Between shades of gray by ruta sepetys and wonder by r.j palacio and love, aubrey by suzanne lafleur. I have written reviews for all these books on my blog if you want to check them out. 🙂

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