There’s an App for that.
That has been my catchphrase for the past month, ever since I joined the wonderful high-tech world of Apping. Despite not considering myself a techy, I have quickly become a regular appendage to my new Android smart phone and it carries me everywhere, or rather the other way round. My reliance on my new phone is mainly due to its amazing transformative abilities, allowing me to use it in place of many heavier items. It can become whatever I want it to be because, ladies and gentlemen, “there’s an App for that”.
The thing about the app world is that it is absolutely overflowing with thousands of different applications for your smart phone. They range from the ingenious to the appallingly absurd and vary in different degrees of randomness so it’s difficult to pick out the apples from the leaves. In my amateur days I would naïvely download every single app that appeared to have the slightest bit of use to me, leading to much annoyance and a lot of disappointment. However, I have now managed to come up with my own classification system, narrowing them down into three categories.
These are the apps that now that I have discovered, I couldn’t live without. In case of a power cut, my phone can become a torch in whichever colour seems most appropriate for the situation or even display police flashlights to deter an approaching kidnapper. Not that I have ever been in either situation but you can never be too prepared. When boredom hits, my phone is a book. When an idea appears it’s a notebook. The uses are endless. I have even discovered an interesting app that tells you which is the best moment to go to the toilet during a movie! You never have to miss the climax again.
The not so useful
These are the worst. I put so much hope and faith in an app when I am downloading it only to get let down because they do not work as I so foolishly apprehended. They exaggerate their use and deceive me into installing them by cleverly disguising themselves as appealing technological miracles. An app that turns my phone into a massager! Am I really that gullible? Apparently so. All it did was cause my phone to vibrate pathetically, providing none of the expected relaxation or pleasure. Then there was the mobile metal detector that failed to recognize any metal kitchen appliances and remained completely inactive when placed in the cutlery drawer, proving that it was not simply a case of sensitivity. Deleting is the only thing to do when faced with these faulty frauds that do little more than take up storage space. Do I really need a hypnotizer or water sound effects to help me pee?
The time wasters
These are the dangerous ones. A must have for procrastinators. Instead of finally finishing that essay or in some cases starting it, you can pass your precious limited time taking part in various activities including smashing ants, popping pimples and ripping toilet paper. They keep you entertained for approximately 3-4 minutes before you move on to the next mindless activity. I wouldn’t normally approve of this moronic, extremely basic use of time but in the waiting room before an appointment or at the bus stop you can really appreciate the short lasting, fast acting amusement they bring.
The difficulty in finding the useful apps, avoiding the useless apps and limiting the time wasters is that you never really know which category they belong to until you have tried them out. What one app-er may find bizarre, another may find a necessity. Perhaps you may not agree but another (geeky) person may find it vital that his phone have the ability to transform itself into a light saber. So, before you start downloading every single app and then wondering what happened to your month’s savings, apply my number 1 rule: do not pay! Consider that what you are buying has the potential to be absolutely worthless and take advantage of the many free apps available in the market.
However, there are some apps that I would be more than happy to pay for if they actually existed. Hold the applause, but my own creativity has surprised me and I have come up with the innovative idea of an app that converts your mobile into a portable fan! What do you think? It sure beats my mother’s idea of an iron.
What is your favourite app and what creative app idea have you come up with?