Whatever happened to unconditional love?

Your parents, they bring you into this world, they feed you, clothe you, and love you unconditionally. No matter how badly you mess up they love you, or that’s what they’re supposed to say anyway. When you’re young and throwing a tantrum you yell that you hate them. Yell it from the top of your lungs because you want your way and they just don’t seem fair. You hope they realise how much you mean what you are saying. You hope it hurts them because they’re being “mean”. I wonder if it does hurt them? They know you don’t mean it and you know you don’t mean it regardless of how hard you try to convince yourself that you do but I’m sure that deep down there is a piece of them that feels hurt. They might feel a little scared by the idea that it could true, perhaps not today but someday.

When the roles are reversed I suppose it’s the same. My dad just told me hated me. He yelled it from the top of his lungs because he wanted his way and on hindsight maybe I wasn’t being fair. It’s the same situation as that of a child expressing his hatred for a parent in that aspect but what if he did mean it? What if unconditional love is just a bedtime story you tell your children…. no matter what mummy and daddy will always love you… we will always be here for you… so it’s all going to be okay.

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11 thoughts on “Whatever happened to unconditional love?

  1. I don’t think anything happened to unconditional love. Sometimes people who love each other dearly still have disagreements, arguments, or a bit of a shout. The important thing is to not stop communicating. Sometimes my kids make me angry, but since they were very little, we’ve always told them before bed that “we love you when we’re glad, we love you when we’re sad, and we love you when we’re mad”.

  2. Well princesayasmine, I was exactly the same with my parents as I was growing up and finding my feet within the family. I remember having a screaming match with my mum, running off and slamming the hall door so hard the panes of glass trembled!
    One of the reasons we have these fights with those closest to us is because we know they’ll still be there on the other side of the storm.
    It might be a massive pile of rubbish now, but trust me it get’s better. I’ve never been closer to my mum than I am now; We still have disagreements but that’s just part of life!

  3. I think they do feel hurt, just like we do when anyone says something mean, despite how rationally we can look at the situation. We could easily say that since they’re older, they should know better, but everyone makes mistakes. Everyone forgets themselves sometimes. For all our airs of civility, humans can be very primitive.

    I don’t know that I’m old enough or experienced enough in life to say anything, but here’s what I’ve found: whenever something like this happens, you have to learn to walk past it. Become or keep being someone you don’t hate, and take it further to become someone you think is pretty damn awesome. No matter how many times things like this happen, it affects you the most if you don’t let go. It can set you off on a cycle of degradation and self-loathing and insecurity that is just not a nice place to be. But once you let go, and stop caring, you might just find that unconditional love you were talking about. If it exists, that is, because who can say? But even if you don’t find that, you might end up with something better.

    xx

  4. They do the same to their parents, it’s the way of life, you can’t live with someone & not have an argument. It’s just like impossible! But, I think they feel hurt & get over it. Just like we do. My mum called me a b*tch the other day as she was having a bad day & until now, whenever she starts talking to me I feel like saying “I thought you said I’m a b*tch, so don’t talk to me.” that’s me, the teenager. But, as parents, I’m sure they are more forgiving as they probably love us more.
    There is a saying that says that when you argue with someone you love & then get over the argument, you end up loving them more.
    I hope you & your dad made up!

  5. Well Princess. I bet as time has passed your dad – despite shouting at you (no doubt just from frustration) Has still fed, clothed, educated and put a roof over your head – all signs of unconditional love dearie. At the end of the day Dad’s are just human, like us and despite not having PMS, do sometimes get ‘pushed over the edge’ Maybe you should see it from his side and step back and ask yourself what was it that he was upset with.

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